Let’s see, diagoned in early June with metastacized melanoma. My liver at that time was 70% filled with cancer tumors and my spleen was even worse. It had spread to lymph nodes, ribs, pelvis and had invaded enough tissue to really scare me. Of course, my oncologist recommended chemotherapy to start immediately.
I brought forward the memory of my mother, who had gone to Sloan-Kettering hospital in New York to get the best care available. They performed horribly disfiguring surgery on her chin and throat. Followed by burning out her salivary glands with radiation, followed by weeks of nausea and weakness brought on by chemo. I am not convinced that the cancer killed her. I held her in my arms as she took her last morphine filled breath. I told her how much I loved her, and encouraged her to forgive herself for ever judging herself about the way she raised me, or about the way I turned out. Or for anything else in her life, for that matter. Just total self-forgiveness.
She tried to look at me, and got big tears in her eyes and quit breathing. Carol was the only other one there with us when Mom died.
Everyone else had just walked out to take a break, having spent time being there with her and saying their goodbyes. Carol and I had just gotten there from a flight from Califronia, so it was our turn.
We were the lucky ones, to watch her last breath. I also got to see Gacky’s (grandad’s) last breath, years before. There is something supremely magical about that moment when the spirit of the person escapes the confines of the body and expands into it’s next level of education in the next realm. Jesus said, “in my house are many mansions”. I have often wondered if He was referring to several levels of spirit that exist beyond the physical level rather than just one that everybody calls Heaven. I guess I am about to find out.
Anyway, I digressed.
Diagonosed in June, scanned in July, October, November, February PET showing complete involvement of melanoma in all body tissues, including heart, aorta bone marrow, several MRIs showing mets in the brain growing, ultrasounds, 12 blood transfusions of multiple pints of blood, pneumonia… I mean, folks, I think I may have set some kind of record for having the most melanoma a living human being can have and still be alive. My radiologist in Houston even said that to me, the most he had ever seen.
So, today is Saturday, March 13, 2010. Nine months since my diagnosis. If I was a woman, I could have given birth by now. Let’s count my blessings.
I have no pain to speak of, since my my new hospice nurse (Lorraine) has so graciously fixed my previously painful bowel movement problem. I have friends all over the world sending me continuous Light and Love, and friends right here at Prana who can drop by and bless me with the most amazing prayer communion and blessings. I have wonderful food prepared for me daily. I have new equipment in my room to make my life more convenient and simple and comfortable. I have my medications that I need. I got very loving phone calls from my sisters, Cynthia, Debbie and Eugenia. Last night, I easily walked up and down the hall with my walker. I got to watch “Appaloosa” again last night, for the 12th time. I have my new all-beaver fur Virgil Cole hat with a horse tail twist hat band and a red-tailed hawk feather in it.
And to top it all off, I have the most loving, devoted, sweet, caring, serving, responsible, coordinating, cute, affectionate, sexy, huggable, saint of a wife anyone could possibly imagine in Carol. If MSIA granted annual sainthood awards, she would be the first I would nominate. You would have to have seen her in action to believe the extrodinary level of care she has provided me throughout these last nine months. My best friend, my one and only lover, my partner, my sweet baby.
My soul brother, Babalola Cris-Rotimi calls me every day to celebrate my triumph of the soul while still in the body.
There can be no other explanation as to why I am still here with a clear consciousness, a positive and cheerful focus, fun-filled and adventurous days, miracles of perfect timing clicking off right on schedule, the continuous spiritual persence of the Mystical Traveler and Jesus Christ, among a large host of other spiritual beings who are enjoying my jokes and wise-cracking. I’m listening closely for the sound current and looking forward to hearing it better.
To what can I attribute all this good fortune,? I did it by asking God to grant me some extra time to be of service to anyone I can in any way I can. I asked that it be done through grace and ease, with the blessings of Jesus Christ.
I think it would clear to anyone reading this blog that my request had been granted big time.