Archive for February, 2010

New Developments

I had several days of low point and couldn’t blog, but now I’m on the mend and am back.

We did a blood draw this morning, and my hemoglobin was back down to a very low 8.7.

So, early tomorrow morning, we pack a breakfast, a snack, all my meds & food suppliments and I check into the emergency room at the nearby Memorial Herman hospital complaining of shortness of breath and internal bleeding and ask to see a specific doctor Culiev, who has arranged an “emergency”‘ nuclear bleeding scan.

As an out-patient, I get injected with a radioactive isotope that illuminates bleeding spots, I wait a long while, they take a picture of my whole small intestine, and I go home tomorrow afternoon.

Repeat same procedure on Wednesday, except I may not have to be injected with the isotope again, we may go on from there with a procedure.

Either Wednesday or Thursday, Dr. Raza will do an emergency cauterization of all the bleeding spots in my small intestine to stop the internal bleeding. What luck! Dr. Raza is the only doctor in Houston who is qualifed to do this procedure. He will go in through a series of arteries to seal the spots rather than with surgery. We ask God for there to be a small number to seal.

Most likely, this will be a permanent end to the internal bleeding, because Dr. Burzynski’s Targeted Gene Therapy and my working with the Light of God have the melanoma on the retreat.

Pretty exciting, no? These current days bring their own reward that is magnificent beyond compare. You, dear reader, may be familiar with religious writings about oneness with God. When that happens to you, all other considerations fall into line, and staying in the oneness becomes paramount. Also, much more fun.

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The Talk with Melanoma

Last night I had a heart to heart talk with my melanoma (m). We created a safe space to share and I started by reviewing how and why m came to be in my life. There were both conscious and unconscious elements present in that manifestation.

My intention was to establish my position as a neutral observer toward m so there was no intimidation in either of us in giving clear and accurate information.

I spoke from the position of authority and took responsiblity for having invited m into my life. The etheric form of M lightly lit on my shoulder one fine day like a butterfly and burrowed into a mole that had been there for years. It was the size of a blink and used an allergy as an entry point. There were two implants, the second one died.

The mole began to mogrify to accommodate the increased metabolic activity and m settlted in for the long haul.

I told m that it had served it’s purpose and was no longer needed to bring me a message of failed purpose in my life. I got the message and knew that being of service is the way to go.

I told m that it can now go back into the nothingness from which it had come.

The Burzynski medications will help it do that with grace and ease.

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The Edge

The Edge of Life and Death

Each day now as I watch more of my physical body disappear to the consumption of melanoma, the edge comes closer, clearer. The relentless progress of the disease is observable in many ways, both in my skin and in my internal body functions.

I have several protruding lesions under my skin that would have raised alarming concerns six months ago, but now are no more than curiosities. However, they give me external markers of the progression of melanoma by how much they protrude, the size and the color.

The internal symptom that’s most responsible for my attention is the bleeding ulcer in my duodenum. I have to be careful of what I eat to avoid aggravating this condition.

I have been losing the layer of lubricating fat between my skin and muscles, so the skin on my feet, calves, ankles, hands, elbows, and knees is like a dried out sponge. It soaks up Aloe Vera and flax seed oil like one too.

My physical body is host to a process that is consuming itself. It reminds me of a vacuum-tailed creature in “Yellow Submarine” that sucked itself up into nothing. Why do I do this to myself?

Looking at it as a neutral observer, I’d say that this body is no longer needed on the planet and is simply going through a natural recycling program instituted by it’s own internal software that automatically kicks in at a certain point of failure of other metaprograms that were installed at the planning session of the individual with the Karmic Board before this incarnation began.

The efforts of the individual at this point to save the emaciated body and continue using it for service of the consciousness is a questionable goal, However, upon request of the individual, God’s grace for that purpose is being extended so a demonstration period can be established and observed for appropriate manifestation.

The failed metaprograms that the Karmic Board put in place were aimed at providing the individual with the appropriate opportunities for learning and growth and furthering the experience of the indwelling Soul.

The individual basically made bad choices, indulging instead in the pleasures of the world and letting the learning opportunities pass him by. After tens of thousands of opportunities had been ignored, the board voted to pull the plug on this body and make space on the planet for another Soul to seek it’s experiences and lessons.

The indwelling Soul in this body realized what was happening and requested another chance; additional time in this body to be of service and to advance it’s own enlightment and liberation from the bonds if the world. And to spend more quality time with his Sweetie wife.

The request was granted on a provisional basis, and an agreement was reached. The Soul must demonstrate an on-going commitment to:
1. being of service to others

2. using every experience he can for his advancement, learning, and growth toward liberation of the Soul.

3. taking good care of his Sweetie wife.

How the individual carries out the provisions of the agreement will be made on the basis of his individual choices. The Karmic Board will be observing and evaluating each choice. Lattitude will be permitted for the learning process. The board gently reminds the person to have fun, too.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Ok, I’m back.

I have been afraid to go to sleep for fear that I would not wake up again. Turns out, it is my basic self that is afraid of being abandoned. He needed comforting and I gave it to him; a caressing, soothing assurance that separating from the body is a natural process, and nothing to worry about. He will go back to where basic selves come from. Michael Hayes said an angel had been placed with my basic to calm his worries. Perhaps I can now sleep easy and in peace.

I had a PET scan two days ago. If you’re not familiure with PET scans, they are graphic pictures of the amount of metabolic activity in the body, specifically, the melanoma’s growth and spread.

We met with the Burzynski clinic radiologist today to see the scans. We went through the whole body. It was lit up like the Christmas Tree at Rockafella Square, I mean Broadway Marquee level.

After taking us through it he said it was “maximum involvement of melanoma, every kind of tissue, the most he had ever seen in a living human being.” After taking a moment to take that in I said, “Maybe I’ll set a new record for recovery.”

I asked him if he thought I can still recover, he said, “I don’t know.” My doctor, Associate Physician Sheryll Acelar, said the same, and added, “We are doing all we can.” She said Dr. Burzynski is working on my case. Among many others, of course.

Admittedly, the last two days have felt like my body was being consumed by the melanoma so fast it was disappearing into a black hole. Everything was difficult. My skin on my ankles felt like I had extreme sunburn. My arm and leg skin was as wrinkled as a 100 year old man. There was an ominous dark glow all under my chest skin. I was extremely weak. I gave myself less than a week to live.

Yet, Friday morning dawned with my feet and ankles showing tendons, meaning the swelling had gone down. I stood with renewed vigor and strength. The skin on my arms and legs was filled out again, wrinkles almost gone. I have to attribute the change in diet that includes animal protein to be the main cause of my turn around. Quite literally, I was starving myself to death on the previous diet.

Well, the new diet of eat anything and everything has made a big difference. But my digestive system has slowed down to the point that it’s hard to get anything to go all the way down.

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Baja Nutri Care Clinic

I first went to BNC in July of 2009. I was there for three weeks with my sweet, loving wife, Carol. The clinic staff were very caring people, and did a great job of taking care of all our needs.

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The Death Wish

The Death Wish was the prime unconscious motivating factor in the development of my cancer.

My death wish had both the standard manifestation and well as at least one unexpected alternative interpretation.

The standard one simply said, “Get me out of here! I can’t handle this world. It’s too harsh and cruel. I don’t understand it, nor can I control it. It’s not fair. It’s too painful.

And yet, I’m too timid to just kill myself. Suicide does not solve any problems, and there’s bad karma associated with it.

Therefore, I will subject this body to environmental toxins until it quits working on it’s own.

The alternative interpretation says, “I am not aware enough of who I really am to stay and function in this world. My lack of awareness is making me make bad choices that lead to unnessary experiences, and I am getting more bound here rather than freerer. Unless I take the right steps to expand my awareness to include my Divinity, I might as well cash in this body and get another one later and try again to learn these lessons.”

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Sleep

Sleep is of prime importance, and yet it eludes me, particularly at night. It’s like I want to avoid that which would be most beneficial for me. Aha!! The Death Wish.

Our trip was exhausting, and we are both struggling to get enough sleep and rest to catch up. I am staying hydrated but not rested. We may have to cut short part of our visit today in order to get back on our critical schedule.

Latest update on sleep is in the Edge Post.

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The Burzynski Clinic

Today, Carol and I are flying Continental Airlnes to Houston, Texas to start two weeks of cancer treatment at the Burzynski Clinic and research facility.

Dr. Stanislaw Burzynski has been doing leading edge, one of a kind genetic research on cancer patients through FDA approved clinical trials using antineoplastons.

Antineoplastons are modified peptides or proteins that have the ability to turn off oncogenes (cancer causing genes) and others that turn on tumor supressor genes (kills cancer cells).

Tomorrow, we go for my first consultation with with clinic, and we are exhausted from travel, but excited.

Our accommodations in Houston couldn’t be more perfect. We are staying at the Candlewood Suites Hotel, also known as the Burzynski Hotel. No ownership implied. A large part of the perfectness of it is due to Carol’s skill at getting what she wants through planning and coordinating the future. In this case, she did it sight unseen, through faith and working with the Divine Light of God.

Day 1 February 9, 2010

We are here in Dr. Burzynski’s clinic, in his conference room, waiting for the good doctor himself. His clinic is very big, modern and impressive.

I found out today that I will be here for Targeted Gene Therapy instead of Antineoplaston clinical trials. I did NOT qualify for the antineoplaston clinical trials because they are reserved for patients whose brain tumors originated in the brain. My tumors are secondary, meaning they are an extension of the melanoma metastasizing into the brain.

The clinic has been behind schedule since we arrived by at least a half hour. I got very annoyed at one point, but realized that since we have asked Spirit for the highest good to take place, there’s nothing to worry about.

We met with the famous Dr. Burzynski and his team at the clinic. The clinic itself is very impressive, all modern, glassy, big, new and humming along inside with the almost all Polish personnel. I got some photos.

I had my consultation, physical exam, and blood draw with Dr. Burzynski’s team today and scheduled tomorrow’s appointments with Houston Medical Imaging for the PET scan with Contrast and an Echocardiogram. Then back to the Burzynski Clinic for my appointment with Dr. Acelar.

Day 2 – Feb. 10, 2010

It’s very cold in Houston today, overcast. Jesus Ordonez came early, brought Pedialyte, and helped out tremendously getting us ready for the day with juices, food, cleaning and even helping me get my shower. What agggn angel!

The PET scan was delayed by over an hour, and I got dehydrated and tired. I had the Echocardiogram first. The tech was sweet yet effecient. I’m waiting at Houston Medical Imaging center to get my PET scan. They injected me with the radioactive stuff about half an hour ago. So, now I’m taking my Oxycodone with a sip of water.

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